Nostalgic Feelings

The leather bound boxed suitcase stood still
And time sat on the carpet
I heard a voice from round the corner of the wallpaper
But all I saw were wildflowers
I couldn't get myself to see beyond them
So I sat there and pretended they were real
I touched them
Like I could feel the soft petals graze my skin
I smelled them
As if the smell of spring air would magically replace the must of the old wood floors creaking beneath a pair of shuffling feet

I don't know why I do these things to myself
It's like I want to self inflict
But I don't want to feel pain

I wracked my brain for thoughts that could fill my head and replace the ones that were there
I focused on the things I could sense
Like the sound of my breath making love to the air around me
Or the drops of rain that fell on the nearest window-sill

They were slow and steady
Just like the drum in my chest
Beat beat beat beat beat

Oppressively

Relentless

Hopelessly

Nostalgic

I start to feel the carpet really pressing into my kneecaps
It starts to rain inside
Streams flow down
down
down
Till I can barely see

I can't help but feel like nothing's ever going to be alright
Because that's how it is
And you don't like knowing I feel that way
But I do

The suitcase is moving
Under the palm of a man
It goes out the door

I don't think I'll ever see that suitcase again.